Parenting and Gender Expectations

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Parenting comes with a lot of expectations for everyone involved. This morning I had a bit of an “OMG!” moment around this as I realised that I’d fallen into the trap of doing the “mum job” even though in our case it made absolutely no sense.

Our little boy has recently started day care, and of course, we have to pay for that. Which we will be doing through the childcare voucher system at my husband’s workplace. We have never done this before and are trying to navigate the seemingly disparate expectations of day care and workplace. And for some reason, I was sending the emails. I was trying to sort it out. It made absolutely no sense for me to be doing so, but I was because… well, why? We could generously say because I’m the main contact with day care, but it still makes no sense because I can’t talk to the voucher people. Or is it just because it’s dealing with childcare and that’s a mum job?

I honestly don’t know. I suspect a bit of combination of factors. But for now, I have embraced practicality and forwarded the email from daycare to my husband and suggested that he call them if they can’t sort it all out at his end.

However, it does make me think a bit about the roles I am taking on as a mum, particularly one who is at home during the day. The fact that I’m working while being at home doesn’t matter. I’m still a mum, at home, and so certain things fall to me. Or at least they have done, and I’m not sure that we have really considered this. We’ve just thought “Oh, well, it makes sense” which is fine, as long as it does. But sometimes, as in our voucher situation, it doesn’t make sense, and in those moments we have to realise it, change our approach, and consider why we ended up in that place in the first place.

Has anyone else found themselves having one of these moments?

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